![]() ![]() ![]() It’s simply an unfunny, sophomoric drag full of toilet humor and every stereotype imaginable. It is not quite deranged enough to make for great midnight movie fare. It’s not particularly funny (save for every time Johnson is sporting gaudy CGI fairy wings, which is undeniably very very good). Tooth Fairy isn’t even properly So Bad It’s Good like The Room. Ashley Judd? Relegated to the role of The Girlfriend despite deserving so much more. British character actor and Fighting With my Family director Stephen Merchant? He’s a supporting lead. It cannot be undone, it cannot be erased. Julie Andrews and Billy Crystal have starred in two of the greatest movies of all time ( The Sound of Music and When Harry Met Sally) and also Tooth Fairy. What IS surprising is that this movie is full of other actors who for sure should have known better. Tooth Fairy was left in the dust where it belonged. A year later, he starred in Fast Five, kicking off a decade of dominance we’re still experiencing today. It was a decision Johnson quickly backtracked on after this film’s release. His management at the time had been pushing him to slim down and take fewer action roles to diversify his portfolio. He was fresh off of a number of family-fare duds, including The Game Plan and Planet 51, both of which are bad, and if you’re capable of expelling their existence from your memory, your life will be easier. Here’s the thing: this isn’t the MOST shocking turn for Johnson at the time. To atone for his sins, this big ol’ lunky hockey player must serve two weeks as a tooth fairy, a job for which he is predictably unprepared. You must love Derek because Derek is the man who will be driving this story, all 101 minutes of it.Īnyways, you can probably guess where this is going: Derek is then whisked away to the land of Tooth Fairies, as one so often is. This man, the one who beats the teeth out of the mouths of his opponents and steals a dollar from a child? This is your protagonist. What kind of person does that? Derek “The Tooth Fairy” Thompson, that’s who does that. It is a very mean thing to do! It’s impressively mean. Perhaps the single meanest thing he does in this movie, which also serves as the inciting incident of the film, is steal a dollar from beneath the pillow of his girlfriend’s six-year-old daughter and tell her that the Tooth Fairy does not exist. It’s earned him the nickname “The Tooth Fairy” (NOTE: This is the name of the movie). It is about a hockey player played by Dwayne Johnson, who is very mean and likes to hit people while he plays hockey, often knocking their teeth out as he does it. Tooth Fairy is a family film that was released in January 2010. (Three, three times he has seen it, and three times has felt compelled to call his mother and ask why she brought him into such a cold, unforgiving world in which a film like this might be produced.) As such, he feels uniquely suited to expound upon its particularly unique brand of awfulness. This writer, a certified Rock Expert (or geologist, if you will) quite literally wrote the book on The Rock, and as such feels safe in saying he has seen Tooth Fairy more than any other moviegoer this decade. With more eyes soon to be on it than ever, it feels like the right time to revisit this cinematic monstrosity. Tooth Fairy will, against all odds, receive something of a resurgence later this year with the launch of Disney+, a titanic streaming service that will now be its permanent home. The greatest trick Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson ever pulled was convincing the world that Tooth Fairy doesn’t exist. Those efforts reached their nadir in 2010, with the release of a film largely lost in the sands of time. It is a relic of a bygone era, an era in which Dwayne Johnson existed in the place Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson does today, an era in which Dwayne Johnson was making an effort to reach beyond his usual action-movie leading man status and branch out into family films. He is oh-so-very charming, pretty good at acting, and even better at pretend-punching bad dudes while saying things like “Daddy’s gotta go to work.” What could ever have stopped him from being as widely beloved as he is today?Īctually, there is very much something that might have stopped him from being as beloved as he is today. Everybody knows who The Rock is and more or less everybody loves The Rock. ![]() He is very famous - astonishingly famous, even. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has made many good movies, many movies that made great sums of money, and some movies that are both good and made great sums of money. ![]()
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